The One with "Dont Push!"

No one likes to be pushed around. I resent pressure. Damn, i hate it. A 'pushy person' can be an embarrasment not only to themselves but to others. I was 'pushed' at work today. She's the one who holds the values of integrity, commitment, faith and what-nots; but how am I suppose to see all that when she changed rules or policies in a snap to suit her needs at any time, like changing panties? And then make me look ridiculous. Im chissed. Went out for a walk and keropok-break with my fellow heads. "I can see that you and Lady Marmalade like water and oil now ah", the 'mother' said. "Eversince she came back, I sense that she is unrest that there werent any problems when she was away", 'lempeng' said. "Like the time when she first started, ordering and asking us to submit this and that...." "Macam gila power ah" They noticed too? The thought of it makes me regurgitate the high spirit of teamwork and doing my best in becoming the "role-model". My head goes, "okay, now be selfish, defiant and dont u care about others. Be....Sofea". I dont feel like working tomorrow. Yah, Im not going to work. I am mentally drained with all the pressure loaded on me. Im sick sick sick sick with her. Im calling Lynette to tell her Im not coming... heck, does anyone care.

The One with "Pats On The Back"

Dear Blog, I've not been blogging for almost 10 days now. And these past 10 days have been filled with great discovery and sense of accomplishment. First thing first, rule of life, one must learned to be disciplined. Boy am I trying hard to do that in... reducing weight and building stamina; submitting deadlines; house chores like sweeping, mopping and folding the laundry; as well as keeping this journal updated. Yes. Its annoying for one to realise that she has been UN-disciplined. (Well, I'm one of those people, at least) Anyways, here's a list of the best things that happened to me for these past 10 days. 1. Tuesdays with Morrie OOooohhh... I should've known about the existance of this wonderful book a long time ago. It has been around for almost 10 years. I first heard about it from Nisa; thinking it is another Japanese-background story like Totto-Chan. I was wrong. Like Totto-Chan, this is one of the BEST books I have read in my 27 years 8 mths 3 days of my life. I was soooo involved. You know, as we are reaching the 10th, 12th, 13th Tuesday, I actually got cold feet. I really felt the numbness as I see Morrie decaying during Mitch' visits, doing his final 'thesis' on life. I cried and I mean, really cried when we came to the last Tuesday of Morrie and Mitch. For now, I am doing exactly Morrie's advice to Mitch: to 'detach'... from grieving of Morrie's death(You'll understand if you read the book). Cant help it. It is a true story. And Im a sucker for true-stories. I wanted to know how Morrie looked like; was he like the one I have in mind? So I went to Google and searched. I got this: I believed this is Professor Morrie and his student, Mitch Albom, the author of Tuesdays with Morrie. This book is highly recommended for a good read. Its a treasure. A gem. While still in the hype of Morrie-isms, I shall share them in my Multiply site. Perhaps, one every Tuesdays.

2. Project Work - Aeroplanes completed. PATS on the back for me. I have succesfully facilitated a group of 15 6-years-olds to learn and understand a lot more about their chosen topic- aeroplanes. All I need to do now is to file up the documentations and display for parents. Im just pleased with how it all goes - this project. Before I procrastinate, I decided that I shall file it up and hold an exhibition and habisssss - selamat.

3. Lady Marmalade is back...

She's baaaaccckkk~~~ Took off my responsibility hat from being the Acting Principal. Will miss SK's "Selamat Pagi/Petang Guru Besar" and I'll blush and brush off with "No lah. Please dont call me that. I'm Guru Body Besar", and we will laugh. From India, she got me a blue pants with little round mirrors on it, a purse-sized mirror and we all tasted the huge bar of cashew nut chocolate. Yummmm....

A part of me felt that I have failed... in carrying out my role. Yet a part of me felt that "yes, I'm good. Im okay", I did it - managed the school with all due sincerity and honesty and dignity and pride. One more time, a PAT on the back for me.

That one month was a valuable experience for me... I have taken myself a level up and am more prepared for the next round of test.

*wolf-whistles*

3. Mother's Day

14th May 2006. My second Mother's Day. Rushda is still young to express her appreciations, but I guess I've faired pretty well. Yup, I'm a good mother doing all the things good mothers do....

But not to tug tad too hard on the girl's arm, that it caused her elbow to missed the alignment!!!!! Me? A good mother? A Debik on the back!

For the record, that was the SECOND time Rushda dislocated her left elbow within a year. Im ashamed to admit that I was the cause, when trying to protect her from an army of red-ants though. We were at the beach, celebrating Nadhrah's birthday. Of all the times and places, it happened there. Lucky thing Dear was around. We drove from East Coast all the way to KK, to fix it. Cant bear to see the pain in Rushda's eyes. It was over within 2 hours! Phewww~~~

Dear consoled me saying that its nobody's fault. You should see for yourself if he really meant it. Yooohooo... you weren't smiling, Dear!

*Okay here comes the part where I'm changing the fonts BIGGER*

4. Haircut

I had a haircut yesterday. Refreshing new look.

Oh goodness, Im falling asleep in front of my screen, I cant believe it. Will tell you more tomorrow yah. Im off to bed.

Time:: Health:: Money .....

Felisa said "one should have the time, health and money. Betul tak?..." With time, but no money and health = Most probably I'll just do lots and lots of solats and zikirs; With money, but no time and health = I think I'll still be a little bit happy. That cliche "money can't buy you happiness".. that's bull lah. More or less, it does. Most probably, with money but no health, then I'll be spending on treatments and medications; With health, but no money and time= What da heck would I be doing then? Oh! Maybe a housewife. Yes. Thats the stereo-typed ones lah, assuming "no money" is defined as not hard-earned money lah. Just nafkah from husband. There is some truth to what Felisa said. But its more to that..... hmmmm... Almost 2pm, meeting time.

Last Weekend...

Yearp, following the latest post, I realised that it WAS the shortest short trip we ever had to KL. We were in and out of Singapore within 48 hours. What were we thinking then? We just wanna go for a long drive and enjoy family quality time. We loved every single bits of it. No regrets. Will be doing it again soon, that spur-of-a-moment thing. And to think that Dear was working night that Sunday... Penat???? Dear gets to catch his nap; while I get ready for my scrapbooking class at Made With Love. While doing that, I was zoinking out, but kept myself awake by talking and joking around with the others. I am usually the one who starts a topic. This time, I started: breastfeeding, image-editting, what-to-do-in-KL and Sesame Street. Geeez, I'm friendly. :) I completed an A-Z Baby Album for Rushda... still needs a little more of touch up. Next, Ayah's Vito' right-rear tyre punctured infront of Park Mall. Waited till 8.30, then we head home. Once again, Ayah stopped me from going home. But managed to 'sneak out' with Rushda when he fell asleep. Imagine... Drrrraaaamaaa betul. I took a cab at the junction of Jalan Pelatok and the main road. Came out with 2 good excuses. Im ashamed of myself for resorting to lying - pakat with mummy one time, lying to her once more. Raudha~~~~~~~ Raudha~~~~~~~~~ Today is Labour Day. Got myself a new handphone- NOKIA 6280. Long-winded and made-complicated purchase. Then, me and Rushda headed to Plaza Singapure, once again to Made With Love. I was travelling from Tampines to Dhoby Ghaut in a public transport with Rushda, with no pram and no father. Its a good thing that I met up with Cousin Mel and Mak Lang. Spared me from public embarrasment. Mothers would know what I'm talking about. It was a loooooong day. I missed Dear by seconds. Here I am again, with Rushda to keep me company tonight. Hope to be mentally and physically prepared to get back to work tomorrow!!! HAH!!! Its past 10 o'clock.... *zzzzzzzZZZzzzzz*

The One With KL Quickie

Yup, we are in KL. It's Saturday, 29th April 2006. We left yesterday evening by Tuas Checkpoint. We stopped at Seremban petrol kiosk for a break, then proceed to KL. We settled our stuffs and in bed by 2.45am. Our choice of hotel this time is Prince Hotel. $RM 315 per night with breakfast. Indulge~~~~~~~~ Did the most basic things - shopping and makan. What else? Isetan was having their end-of-the-month sale. I couldnt resist myself with all that pretty clothes for Rushda. On a spree, with no guilt. I spent about $SG250 on her clothes alone. In the end, no single blouse for me. I just couldnt find anything to my liking. None, From KLCC to Masjid India. Took lots of pics, sending them over to Dadha's Multiply. We are now surfing broadband in our room -1511. :) Just checked my bank account. Got my pay AND my bonus AND my progress package. Thank you LV, very generous of you.

YEEAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO....

The One With New Wardrobe

Im on leave today. Wardrobe has just been fixed in Rushda's room. Cost me $SG 820.00. Expensive?? I like the quality and the simplicity of the wardrobe, which was designed by Abang Shahrin- THE Interior Designer of our home in Pa...Ris. Now that I have the wardrobe, it will be good to compliment the room with shelves, like the ones from IKEA. I cant wait for the new to open for business at their new site right here in Pa..Ris; well, across TPE flyover, so that's make the site at Tampines. Hmmm.. thinking of consulting either Uncle Haron or Abang Ijal for ideas. They are blessed by Allah with the sense of creativity. I thank Him that I have some people of that sort in my family.... Free of charge. Hahahhaa. Haaaiii.. if only Dear can write in to Debbie Travis and her make-over gang to come over and surprise me, I'll feel... SuPeRCALIFRagiLLisTiCeXPIALLIDOCIOUS! That's reel-life. In real-life, I love watching Debbie Travis shows. I've never failed to cry along with the surprised owners of the homes which they remake. *

* Eh! Come to think of it, its been quite awhile that I see her on air. Where's the show? Bring back my Debbie Travis, Channel 5! So here is a pic of the new wardrobe in Rushda's room...

I present this wardrobe to Rushda and her wonderful Daddy, with the message:

"Hope you two will find this cubby a sharing shrine of all the nice clothes you have. I used to share my wardrobe with Ayah, and Mummy has one all to herself. Let's keep the tradition alive...Love you both ~ Ummie/Darl "

I have just finished tranferring Dear's and Rushda's clothing into the new wardrobe. I have also cleaned the room from the dust. Dear suggested we go for a short trip to KL. Im checking out the hotels online. He's not back from his Jumaat prayers. Will know then if the quickie idea is on or off.

Updates later...

I Got It!!! (The One with Canon Suprise!)

Dear is back from his trip. :) Im soooo happy. He came back safe, and in one piece, last Sunday evening. Got a bag for me, and clothes for lil' Rushda. I saw lots of good quality football jerseys (cap palang ones). Earlier on that Sunday, my day started early, with Zik's birthday at Changi Beach. Nice gathering with Dear's side, albeit his absence. I was the Game-Mistress at the request of cik Hanis, who called me last minute. It was all fun and full of laughters. What a waste, no pics taken, except for the ones I took when we hurdled together under the hut when the rain started to pour and the strong wind blew the rain (plus the sea) towards us. Macam personal attack. Macam mini-tsunami. Everyone was drenched wet. Great-Grandma Nyai to Great-GrandGal Rushda braved it through. Mummy and Ayah was caught too. Due to that- drenched and all dirt, I have to skip Cousin Ed's invitation to the kids' birthday. [Leen, if you are reading this: Minta maaf banyak2 for not being able to attend. Apart from that reason, I haven't got them their presents lah. I owe them. Thinking of Scrapbooking Kits for Kids...] Going forward, I am just sooo happy that Dear surprised me with a Canon replacement digicam.

Dear was right - "berkat orang sabar...". He brought the old Canon for repair, and they offered a one-for-one exchange. Not only that, it comes with 256MB card. Alhamdulillahhhhhh syukur.

Now I can start snapping pics of us, Rushda, the kids in school, all!

I Want...

.....To complete my lesson plans up till May, but its not as easy as it looks. .....To sit here and just surf till morning, but Im working tomorrow. .....To find out how Irah photo-editted her pics. Oh so nice. .....A brand new Canon printer and a brand new Canon digital camera. .....Dear to cuddle us in bed before his trip to Hatyai tomorrow, but he is now out getting Haya ready for the long ride. .....This jabbing pain under my rib to stop, but its around and I can't lie down. .....To make the right decisions for the plans I have made this week. .....To be near Allah, but I always feel I can't because of this menstrual thing, when actually I can. I can zikir. .... To wash my face right after this, and sleep. .... To say sorry to Lina for not being able to attend her wedding. .... To know if I have been a good girl, a good wife, a good worker, a good mother, a good daughter and a good muslimah. Ahhh time to do reflection (muhasabah diri) followed by self-reflexology, anything to stop my cos-to-chon-dri-tis. Oh yes, I want to thank Aunt Linda, Cousin EdMary and Cousin Mel, and Mak Lang and Mak Long for their caring calls and concerned sms. I'm thankful to Mummy and Ayah for taking care of Rushda will I went to CGH on Sat' nite. I want to thank Andak for receiving Rushda with open arms. I've thanked Dear for his concerns and care. Though I was abit irked for letting me be in pain until the end of the Qatar MotoGP; I've forgiven him. Rossi won. Hehehe.

The One With Chest Pain

Adoi... adoi....adoi.... The weekend is coming to an end, and Alhamdulillah, the stabbing pain under my rib is gone. I was so so much in pain from Wednesday till my last straw, yesterday night. I asked to be sent to the hospital, as every breath I was taking is killing me. Kesian Rushda. She would have been wondering why Ummi is crouching and not being able to lie down next to her like the usual. Im glad Rushda was asleep last night. Otherwise, she would have seen me crying as I struggled to breathe and walk without *ouch*.... i just felt it again. ECG showed my heart beats were okay; X-Ray showed okay too. So Dr Hui (who was unfriendly and stuck-up) diagnosed the pain as Respiratory System- URTI Costochondritis. I missed Lina's wedding today. Was looking forward to it. But the painkillers prescribed are strong, and make me drowsy all the time. Im gonna send her a card or something. Felt bad for not going. Have to cancel my appointment with Feliza too. Im on Medical Leave tomorrow. Will be extra hardworking for the next few days as Lady Marmalade is going on a long leave. I have to keep fit and yoga positive zen before I assume my role as Acting Principal during her absence, and it will be official next Monday. Speaking of yoga, I figured I could've injured my rib/muscle after the KardioSculpt session last wednesday night. I miss Rushda. Wanna see her now.

Breastfeeding Blues

The time will come for me to wean her off breast milk.

Oh Rushda, it has been a wonderful joy to provide you with the right nutrients and comfort all this time. Alhamdulillah. You have made me reign as a champion breastfeeding mum. We must also thank our families who have been supportive and giving advices (like Cousin Edmary and Kak Erni).

Please know that Ummi will still and always love you.

Ummi and Abi will be here to provide you with your needs and rights.

Here's a breastfeeding poem in our favourite Dr Seuss style:

Seuss for Nursing Mommies

Would you nurse her at the park? Would you nurse him in the dark? Would you nurse him with a boppy? And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse her in the park. I would nurse him in the dark. I'd nurse with or without a boppy. Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on? Can you nurse from dusk til dawn? Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,I will nurse her til she's full.

Can you nurse and make some soup? Can you nurse and feed the group? It makes her healthy strong and smart, Mommy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game? Would you nurse her in the rain? In front of those who dare complain?

I would nurse him at the game. I would nurse her in the rain. As for those who protest lactation, I have a perfect explanation.

Mommy milk is tailor made. It's perfect food, you need no aid.Some may scoff and some may wriggle, Avert their eyes or even giggle.

To those who can be cruel and rude, Remind them breast's the perfect food. I would never scoff or giggle, Roll my eyes or even wiggle!

I would never be so crass or crude, I KNOW that this milk's the perfect food! We make the right amount we need,The perfect temp for every feed. There's no compare to milk from breast-The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet, Mommy milk is such a treat. Human milk just can't be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,On the street or in your face. I will not let my baby cry, I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.

It's not about what's good for you, It's best for babies, through and through. I will nurse her in my home, I will nurse her when I roam. Leave me be lads, leave me be ma'am.

I will nurse her, MOM I am.

Happy Birthday Dear!

Today, Dear turned 33. I was all excited about it. I had plans to do this and that, to make his birthday this year a memorable one (I always do). None was executed. Hmmm.. There's always some other time I can do this surprise. Which can be Laaagggiii surprise. Yeah! I think I should do that. Anyways, here's one of the plans I had was to write down on little pieces of coloured papers something that he wouldnt mind me getting. Like his wishlist or something like that. I would write Timberland; Adidas; Times; Takashimaya; World Of Sports; etc etc. Fold the papers and put them in a jar, which ideally should be tied with a nice ribbon, and place it at a place he least expected like in a fridge or bathroom or in the car, OR... I should just be the one presenting it.

So, picked he will, and only one.

Whatever is written there, that's what he's getting from me. I'll probably buy him vouchers, so he can choose what he likes. Not the case of '05. I rushed to Timberland to get him the Earth Day tee. He wears it ONLY at home. Since that was the case, it is now permanently mine.

We had a great time today going here and there with Rushda. The highlight of the day was Birthday Lunch at Straits Kitchen, Hyatt Hotel. My treat. Thanks to Mummy. The ambience was nice and relaxing. Mummy was right, should've left Rushda at Nenek's place, for us to be able to really enjoy the buffet spread. The food was great. Halal. I love everything about it - the food, the service, the place. $90 for 2 of us, service charges and GST tax. Once in a while, why not. Lavish yourself with food. In the midst of lunch, that familiar smell paused us and discreetly, we panicked.

"You wanna bring her to the Ladies and change?" Dear with his quickest and 'wittiest' idea. "I'm not sure if they have a changing table. " I said. And then like it's a God-sent thing, I saw my Young Parents magazine in Rushda's bag. I remembered reading the reviews of Nursing Rooms in this month's YP. I scrutinize ten-pages of listings for the nearest nursing room and *voila* - TANGS! That's just next door! And Young Parents rated it as one of the best and they love it. So we had to shorten our lunch moment and head straightaway to TANGS' kids Playground (but actually its not a playground) and change Rushda, before it spills over. Busuknya bukan main lagi. And oh yes, I love the nursing room. Very cozy for nursing; there's water and inflatable mat for diaper-changing.

Now that Rushda can walk, she roams around alot. She will stop at a blouse, pick it out and shows me. The other day, at Kiddy Palace, she did that, then walk straight to the cashier. A stranger noticed and says to Rushda: "Oh you are paying for that? Cashier is that way". :)

We went to Great World City to check out that mall. Bumped into "rafsarin" - an online friend whom I just got to know. She looked radiant with her pregnancy into the 3rd tri. She's petite and pretty, and her profile pic at Multiply was attractive.

Anyway, Happy 33rd Birthday Dear. Believe it or not, this is the 9th time we are celebrating your birthday together. Don't worry about getting old lah. You still look young, especially with your biking hobby. Enjoy your trip to Thailand next month. Like I told you, your prezzie this year includes some funding from me, ok. This is my way to show you that I love you.

The One With Addiction Part 2

Its 1.34pm, and I decided to switch back to the original Dadha Speaks template. *burp* Im having McChicken meal from Ashley's birthday. The kids had fun with the games and goodies. The birthday girl got special gift from McDonald's "aunties". Joann - Ashley's mum told me that she paid $7 per child. I have 17 in a class.. Well, after 9 years working with kids, I know jolly well that Joann had set the trend/stress on the other parents. Why? Coz more birthday celebration to go! Ashley is only the 4th oldest in class. As usual, the rest will go home to tell Mummy and Daddy about the celebration and will ask if they can have the same one too. So what does all that means? It means I get to have more FREE McD's meals for lunch. Yumma Yumma. Haaaiiiizzzz.... damn lucky the kids nowadays, and kindergarten teachers too.

Coming back to addiction, I regretted not sleeping yesterday, coz I had a hard time climbing out of the bed. Im not sleepy after that 2hrs sleep, but boy am I feeling high.

Anyways..... *yawn*

I am sooooo happy that I discovered cousin Edleen has a blog here at blogspot. She's into scrappin' and her LO (layouts) are gorgeous. She scrapped about her kids and family. Hah... all mothers would do that - dedicate pages after pages to their loved ones, but not for themselves. :) I can't wait for our next meet-up and share my cardstocks and embellishments and find out all about that websites she posted her LOs.

I would like to thank Mrs Peh - Shin & Shun's mum for introducing me to Scrapbooking. She actually did one LO of her sons attending my wedding. The colour schemes to the brads to the journals were so perfect. When she showed me, I thank her thinking that it was for me; then she said, no, its for her sons to keep as memory. Malu kita tau. That was how it all started. Thanks to her, I found out about Made With Love at Plaza Singapura. Once I step into the shop, its hard to leave. And they just gets better and better. Sandra and Elvira, the main coordinator of the shop are nice peeps. Must go there soon.

Cousin Ed gorgeous scraps can be viewed at her blog: http://javascrapper.blogspot.com.

Made With Love is at Plaza Singapure, 3rd floor, at a hidden corner.

The One With Addiction

I wanna be PINK for a day or two. See how it's like - whether it suits me, or if it just look nice on the screen. It's 3.37am, and I was toggling with this blog and multiply sites since about an hour ago. Blame it on Dear. He came home from his usual hangout at Tampines St 43 at around 1am, and then disturb our sleep with his kissies. Rushda grumbled amidst sleep, and I have to quickly hush her up with breasts (-feeding). That's fine. But he came home without my Milo Dinosaur. MANA BOLEH?!?!?! Feeling GUILTY, Dear made me a mug of Ice Milo (not Dino version, this one 'Tikus' version). Its a good thing he made that, I got up, took wudhuk and did f0000;">T.Y. is currently busy joining all the cip activities. haha. we are all crazy. but i cant speak dialects lah. how to go for that elderly thingy. later they speak some kinda alien language den i freak out. worst rite. haha. anyway... iv made lots of frenz in mj oredi. when i say lots i mean LOTS

The One with the Bowling Nite

Since Ixus is not working... I downloaded all the pics from our CF card. My my my... so many pictures for so many events.

One of my favourites was from the Bowling nite we had two Fridays back. It was a well-spent, quality family time. We make lots of noise at Pasir Ris Bowl Downtown East. Kecoh. Rushda enjoyed the night, though abit stifled by the presence of the Great Bowler. Hehehe...

The Great Bowler was who-else but Uncle Faizal aka Tok Chu aka Tok Lim to Rushda.

And so, we had something like an inter-couple bowling competition, like Chu and Uncle Faizal; Rizal and Anna; and myself with my super-striker Dear. Many a times, Dear had to play for me, while Rushda observes her surrounding whilst clingy to her Ummu. STRIKE! Then next set, STRIKE! and then another...STRIKE! Thats Dear getting strikes for me!!! Im so proud of him.

That's strike after strike after strike. And for that hat-trick, he's getting surprise rewards from me. Oh yes. One after another...

Thats Dear and me... showing off our nice-smelling bowling shoes. I love the bright green. I don't go bowling that much, but I could imagine myself with Ed and friends at Stuckey Bowl.

Bowling is stress-relieving. I'm "bowled" over by how skillful the people next lanes were. I'm sure to be back on the alleys to get myself more strikes, or should I just let Dear do that for me.

Will be updating more pics at Dadha's Pics! http://dadhapics.multiply.com.

The One with Digicam

All Canon stuffs of mine are working... not the way they should be, though. First, it was the printer. the only suspect I have in mind is little Rushda. She is amused by the green/orange light whenever the power button is pressed. So, she will press as many times she wishes. Until one day I realised that when I print my documents, alignments need adjustment. Pictures quality totally teruk. Alamak... It got worst. When printing is in progress, you can hear 'jeg...jeg' jerking sound. Apa tu? I hope its not cicak flatten by the cartridge. Today, my worst fear came true - our Canon Ixus V3 is diagnosed with serious, critical lens cancer. There's nothing you can view from there. Shucks. How coincidental can that be? You tell me. First, I just sign up as a Multiply user at http://dadhapics.multiply.com. There, I was singing praises about my Canon digicam. I have taken over 5000 pics with it. Then today - rosak. Second, the IT show was last weekend. Saw the promo on Saturday's papers. You can trade-in and get the latest Ixus. Eeeeee.... how ironic can it be. *censored* *censored* *censored*

"So, what's our plan Dear?" I asked the husband.

He talked about some DVDcam.

"Dear, can you give me a more realistic answer?" ...silence.

Now, all I do is fantasize my next digital camera. Come back to see what I fantasize for.

The One with Psychology

An opportunity to pursue diploma in psychology awaits me. Before I sign on any forms or bond, I read up whatever I can. Then I chanced upon this recycle paper which Timothy gave me. On the other side of it, he pasted two paper boats and coloured the paper blue. Flipping on the other side, you have a 'Measurement of Self-Actualization' by Jones and Crandall (1986). We have to give a scale for each of the statements. Forget about the scores, it's how I give myself the following scales. Fellow bloggists and visitors, you can try it too. 1 = disagree; 2 = somewhat disagree; 3 = somewhat agree; 4 = agree. 1. I do not feel ashamed of any of my emotions. (4) 2. I feel I must do what others expect me to do. (3) 3. I believe that people are essentially good and can be trusted. (4) 4. It is always necessary that others approve of what I do. (2) 5. I don't accept my own weakness. (4) 6. I fear failure. (3) 7. It is better to be yourself than be popular. (4) 8. I can express my feelings even when they may result in undesirable consequences. (4) 9. I am bothered by fears of being inadequate. (3) 10. I am loved because I give love. (3) It's a simple test, but it took me longer than expected to give it a scale. So what does this test says about me? I'll look out for more recycle papers in this class...

The One With Mummy's Birthday

As I'm making this entree, Mummy had just been discharged yesterday from SGH. About a week after her birthday, we came up with a conspiracy plan with Aunt Rehana, a true genuine friend of Mummy, to get her see a doctor/specialist about her swelling feet. We are left with little choices as she is just plain stubborn. She did and I must say that she was lucky. They found out her lungs was filled with water. So she had to stay in ward for about 4 days for thorough examination. When I received that sms from Ayah, I am left numbed, my world was at a standstill wondering if I ever get to see Mummy much much longer in days and years to come. Playback in my memory was the small surprise celebration we had for her. As we gathered for Doa Selamat, she sat there crying openly, and she said: "Tak tahu tahun depan ada lagi tak diri ni". At that point, I realised how much I love Mummy, and how much she had done for me, for my brothers and I am not ready to see her go. She recalled that Nenek passed away when she was 57 years old. Today, Mummy is 57 years old. We celebrated her birthday on February 14th, 2006. May Allah bless all the good deeds she had done in her life. She may not be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect woman... but to me, that does not matter, she is my Mummy. Know one knows her better than Ayah and me. I love you Mummy, sincerely with all my heart. :) The usual suspects... Cake cutting time. Firdaus and Faustine fighting for the knife. Yikes. Rushda is too young, so she just looked on. Ayah loves Mummy so much that he resorts to turning to Aunt Rehana for a big favour. It is very romantic and loving of a husband to do anything in this world just to make his wife healthier and happier. I must thank Aunt Rehana and Safia for their great assistance. For now, Allah will repay their kindness and reward them with Jannah. I hope I will find one whom I can bring the friendship as far as Mummy and Aunt Rehana did.

The One With CNY Reunion Dinner

Ehh Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... didnt update?!?!?!?!?!??! for sooooo long?????!?!?!? Obviously, I have been busy busy busy with work. Having said that, I yearn to say something that is different from the norm. I want Quit. I want Out. But that, later. I was reading through my e-mails and did not realise that Anna actually sent me these Reunion pics. Ha Ha Ha. There were some kind of cultural engagement on that day. Chu invited us over for Reunion dinner. She cooked. We had stuffed roasted chicken, mee sedap, casserole/lasagne and more. Rushda was wearing RED rompers lengkap with dragon on it. I came EARLY to help, unlike some others who come late, and just be there to pose for pics and eat. But they stayed LATE. Hopefully they helped Chu to clean up. Then we had the Lo Hei ceremony - the stuffs were packed and labelled Halal. I read through the "prep procedures" and we did it. Toss it high into the air.

The sumptious Halal fusion East-meet-West dinner at Chu's place.

I am not sure what this Mee is called, but it is SO SEDAP!! Lots of seafood and shiitake mushroom with black pepper. I think its Laksa mee or was it spaghetti??? Either way, it's nice.

It's Eidul-Adha!

Backtrack a bit... I was in tears from the last post. Said that I will be back, but I didn't. Not from the crying, more of terlupa! Suppose to post something about the ritual of sacrificing sheeps on this day.

Its an annual thing. On Eidul-Adha, I observe the big day, thinking of the Hajj pilgrims; their achievements, their challenges, etc. And there's also the slaughtering of sheeps, which I have the honour to observe yearly at Masjid Kassim, without fail. But... I always have this guilt, which I couldnt put away, until someone convince me that the whole process is fine, and that the sheeps are fine. My main concern was, if the sheeps felt pain. They shouldn't. Thats cruelty. I have my uncles and husband to enlighten me with some facts, and to assure me that these sheeps felt no pain and they are more than happy to be sacrificed, as Allah promised them jannah. About the sheep feeling pain... Basically, the Islamic method of slaught for, which Muslims believe is the ideal one, is carried out with utmost mercy on the part of the slaughterer , and minimum pain and suffering on the part of the animal. I Googled about this, and found:

Is Islamic Slaughtering Cruel to Animals? By Dr. Aisha El-Awady

After reading it, I'm convinced that the sheeps were fine. I'm convinced by the respects shown by the uncles and young men who did the slaughtering at Masjid Kassim. The kambings were held at a grassy shaded area, with food and water; while the slaughtering is done away from the herd. And when they took the kambing, one of the man will cover its eyes, so as not to let it see it's fellow gang's condition, so to speak.

About meeting the sheep at Titian Siratal Mustaqim... Not Confirmed. Again, I Googled about it, and found this. For now, it stops here. My next mission is to find out if the hadith is indeed authenticated. Join me OR share with me if you know about this. P.S: This one is also a good read - Eid al-Adha, the Festival Of Sacrifice in Islam

Surely Abraham was an example, obedient to Allah, by nature upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He was grateful for Our bounties. We chose him and guided him unto a right path. We gave him good in this world, and in the next he will most surely be among the righteous." (Qur'an 16:120-121)

The One With Hari Raya Haji

Today is Hari Raya Haji. It's raining heavily all over Singapore. Brought Rushda to see the sheeps at Masjid Kassim yesterday. Dear is working tonight. So we were at home. Going to Nenek's house later for the second part of the birthday celebration.