I just have to come back to record these events which has happened to me recently.
I am modern yet conservative. I believe in the Oneness of Allah, and I also know about the existence of 'supernatural' in many kinds. In Islam, there are jinns and satans. They can appear in many forms regardless of gender, race or religion.
My encounter with some of them recently.
February 9th, Friday, around 2am:
Around 11pm, Rushda woke up, Rushda: "Ummie, sakit peyut. I nak 'yak'" (Got down from bed). "Okay you yak first, then we wash ok" I said half-asleep. Rushda woke me again, "Mi~ wash" (we washed and put on diaper...back to bed) "Ummie, I nak Hi-5".
I switched on her favourite Hi-5 cd, and she watched it with hubb sleeping next to her in the living room. I went back to the room. Obviously enough, Im half-dead. Tak kuasa. Just layankan. At around 2am, she came in with hubb, "Ummie, I nak susu". Arrrggghhh, annoyed, I went to the kitchen to make milk, went back to bed.
This was what I said to her: "Rushda must sleep ok. We are going to school early morning" and I turned away from her, and the moment I closed my eyes, I heard a female voice repeatedly saying this: "Rushda Rushda; Rushda Rushda".
It was so clear, I couldnt be dreaming, I know Im not dreaming because I JUST closed my eyes. I turned to look at hubb, whose back was facing me. I looked at Rushda. She paused from drinking and looked at me too. I wonder if she had heard it....I closed my eyes again... the voice came again, this time softer.
And so I was told, the softer it is, the nearer it is too. Ok. Takut Time. I recited whatever I can recite. That night, I dreamt, a hand from the window, holding on to the blinds in our living room, violently shook them. The person seemed angry and trying to get into the house. That person wanted Rushda. I told Dear, "nothing will happen. She cant get in because we solat and ngaji".
March 31st, Saturday, midnight:
We just came back from Pergam (fond name for my parents' place), got Rushda in bed, wiped and changed her. Dear watched tv, I was surfing - both in the living room. Unexpectedly, I heard Rushda crying tersedu-sedu WITH an unusual sound. I turned to the TV, and to my laptop, and was certain the sound is not from there. Told Dear to check on Rushda. He got up, stand at the door, turned to me , "Nothing lah, Rushda is sleeping. Why? What is it?"
I turned back to my laptop, and there, that sound came around again. That's it. I got up to take my wudhu'. I asked Dear to stand guard at the door. Lights on. I just got the feeling that I need to be with Rushda. I went back to the room, and as I wanted to reach to her, I felt..... I was competing with something to reach to her. I felt like I collided with something. As quickly as I can, I hugged Rushda. She started to cry and pointed to something behind me.
I hugged her tight. My little one was perspiring despite the fan and the aircon on. At this point, I had goose-bumps and I started to cry. Takut punya pasal.
Dear was standing, somehow knew something was wrong. He brought the laptop in. Switched off the tv and everything else, and came into the room. I think he was scared too. Both of us remained calm, and tried to divert away by surfing the Net, and while doing that, we had qori Syed AbdurRashid AzZarqawi's quran recitation played on the laptop, and eventually lullabied me to sleep.
I told Ayah about it. He gave me advices like, recite surah Yaasin 3 times after maghrib; recite doas before you step into the house and so on.
Why am I vulnerable to this now?