Last 2 weeks of December

I am so looking forward to the last 2 weeks of December. Superb-ly shiokz from how I look at it.

First and foremost, Im looking forward to Mummy's discharge. It should be before Christmas. Her coughing is managable. She had two rounds of blood transfusion and had this large bruise on her right arm. Dr Jason Chua said she had lung infection. Her sugar level is unstable, so she probably would have to take insulin jabs daily, and longer dialysis cycles. I pray for her speedy recovery. Mum had been strong and a bit manja. Aside from that...

• #1: Hari Raya Haji (Thurs, 20/12)
• #2: Centre Closure (Fri, 21/12): Although we need to report to work, it is work minus the kids and toddies. Time for handover of duties and other stuffs. My agenda for that day is to check on the Math aids, update Inventory and pass to Tess. Then there is meeting, the brainstorming session and tinge of gossiping and kniving. In the itinerary would be, Lady Marmalade trying to boost the team's morale by making us complete one of those free take-one postcards with catchy positive time-to-reflect taglines (which reminds me of Zilah's wish she wrote in one of the cards. She was out of point, so she wrote: "To win the Subaru Challenge"... hilarious).
• #3: No Work Day (Sat, 22/12): Persuading Dear to send me to Jusco Permas Jaya to get those retro wrappers for my class borders. Its neat and funky. The girls at work love it. Im running low with it. Lesson learnt- borders can be wrappers from SINGAPORE.
• #4: Christmas Eve (Mon 24/12): Work half-day!!!!!!!!
• #5: Christmas Holiday (Tue 25/12): No working. House working. Probably Mummy will be discharged.
• #6: New Year's Eve (mon 31/12): Work half-day!!!!!!
• #7: Rushda turns 3 (Tues 1/1): To party or not to party??? The next day is a school day! 2008 sees Firdaus and Sarah in P1! Safiyah in morning session, and Hadi in Sports Sc hool. I share their parents' excitement and anxiety. Ok, as for the party, need to think abt it.

How does it feel?... Your loved one is dying

Lately, I am saddened by news that people I know, are either suffering or has perished from cancer.

Aunty Rabiah, a very very very kind and generous neighbour and a family friend, died from stomach cancer a week before Ramadhan. She was in her 40s and was diagonosed about 3 years back. Her wish to see her eldest girl Alia to be married was fulfilled. Alia was 24. The wedding for Alia was "expected", because Aunty Rabiah has a sister who died just a few years back; this sister didnt live long enough to witness her own one-and-only daughter's wedding.

How did Alia feel? Knowing mum has cancer and was uncertain then, but went on getting married?

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Last Sunday, made my way to Mahkota Medical Centre in Malacca to visit Uncle Hasanuddin. During Ramadhan, we got a call from Aunty Minah, telling us that Uncle Hasan's right knee has swollen double the size, it was so bad that he couldn't walk. How did that happened? "He knocked onto the edge of a table". On 2nd of December, they transit at Pergam, planning for one night stay. By then, his condition has worsened, he was coughing out blood. Ayah drove them to MMC that very same night. Imagine that- just a knock on the table, and can't walk for more than a month.

With all that suffering comes this news: Uncle Hasan was diagnosed third stage of lung cancer - hence, the coughs; doctor 'gave' him 4 to 5 months to live. He has a slim chance to recover. As for the leg, the cancer has spread down to his leg. The latest update I had was, he undergone a surgery to correct the joints on his right leg. He can now walk, and will be discharged today. From Malacca, they are staying for a night at Pergam, before taking a ferry back to Kuala Tungkal. Indonesia.

Oh, and he is not aware he has cancer and was 'given' 4-5 months to live.

Aunty Minah has requested that Uncle Hasan not know about this.

How does it feel? Knowing your husband has 4 to 5 months to live?

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Aunty Norbi, passed away on Friday, 14/12/2007, with husband, children and grandchildren present. She was 61. A nice lady too. I see her during Hari Raya and at relatives' weddings. I remembered Aunty Norbi helping out in packing my wedding berkats days before my wedding.

I was told that hers was liver cancer.

I was also told that doctor has informed the family to keep vigil as in her case, it was "anytime".

Mummy went to visit on Wednesday and shared with us that, she was just "waiting for time". Ayah went on Thursday, and told me that the family is arranging to move her to a single-bed ward. Eventually, they brought her home on Thursday night. She passed away Friday night.

How does it feel? When you have to sit by your mother's death bed? Knowing that it is "anytime"?

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Mummy has been having cough for the past one week. When she coughs, it sounded "bronchitis" to me. Two days ago, she started to cough out blood too. She is breathless, her ankles are bigger probably due to water retention. She insisted on going to the hospital tomorrow, as she has appointment at the Peritoneal Dylasis clinic. In Mummy's case, clearly no issues on life-span. She is suffering from diabetes and failing kidneys. Is she dying too? Like Uncle Hasan?

"Kau nak percaya pada doctor atau percaya pada Allah"?

How do I feel? How do I feel? Allah, please give me strengths