Saturday, January 26, 2008

Of New Year....

We are into the 25th day of 2008 and 17th day of 1429 Hijriah.

Theoretically speaking, I'll be 30 this year. Yearp, I'll be 30-years-old.

The big Three-Zero!

Am I looking forward to it? Of course! So many things in mind when you are hitting 30.

I day-dreamed of travelling alone, far far away; away from the husband, parents, children, work; just be away from Singapore/Asia - to reflect on what have I achieved in life; what is pending for my attention/ immediate actions especially spiritually; what have I failed; how do I re-shaped my dream in life, etc.

At the same time, I've been thinking about death too. Yes, dying...

Recently, I lost a grand-uncle whom I will fondly remembered as Tok Chu. His wife (my Nek Chu) also battled with colon cancer for about 4 years. (Nek Chu-May 2007; Tok Chu- Jan 2008). Rest In Peace.

Its only natural that this is coming to me. Today, during an outing with Dear and babes, I was looking at him while he was reading his magazine. That indescribable feeling crept in me, "which one of us will die first?... Dear, if I die tomorrow, I want u to know I love you; love love love you. Will there ever be someone to replace me? Will you raise the girls the way we wanted them to be...." That was my inner voice. Imagine how Dear will react if I were to tell him those; he'd probably tell me its my wisdom tooth, which is so aching right now. Hah.

Death aside, Im writing down a will. I am listing down names of people who will inherit my priceless "fortunes" - my books. My textbooks, children storybooks, teaching ideas books, fiction, non-fiction books, parenting magazines, DVDs/CDs. They are so precious to me, do not donate them away! In my will, I will nominate the important people in my life to inherit my Swatch collection; frame collection; paperbags (branded) collection,etc. I cant remember who I nominated to inherit my untouched CPF savings. I shall get my will ready and signed soonest. Thirty is coming.

Dear is gearing up for his "ultimate ride" in November. Destination: Golden Triangle.
We were talking the other day, I told him this (and only Allah knows how I tried to hold back my tears): "I want you to promise me that you will come back riding your bike. I do not want to be the one to fetch you or... God forbids...collect you". To which he answered, "Insya- Allah".

Very taboo right? Lets give it a rest.

Rushda - 1 year ago.

1 comment:

madame blossom said...

I think alike also you know.. I've wondered the same. But of course, I doa to be able to live long enough until they DON'T need me. and when we die, to die in iman and have an easy death. itu doa I slalu.

insyaAllah.. ameen ameen.. he will be home safely.

How about you?? KL?