"I think it boils down to time management, u bring home a lot of your sch work. Then u are pressurised to complete n @ same time, do housework. U have to sacrifice something"
That was an SMS advice I got about two weeks ago. If it was verbal plus real-time, I would have reacted negatively. If I could remember clearly, I did reply defensively. I wasn't too keen to pursue a discussion with my fingers manouvering with madness on the keypads, and with my students around asking me questions. Very annoying and concentration denied.
Two weeks gone, and today, after giving it lots and lots of thoughts, I can't deny but agree that the statement is true and it needed an action plan immediately.
"If only u can separate sch work n try not to bring it home, i'm sure u hv time to rest @ home."
If only... I rattled on saying that I need more moral support and i was tired and was listing down the things I have to do during my, konon, "rest time" - taking care of husband's and child's needs; complete chores like (do I have to mention???) Cinderella do.
At least, SHE concentrates just on chores. Me? I was juggling, man. Like The Great Jojo the Juggler from one of the children's storybooks I've read.
I was at my lowest point then. At work, I wasnt spared either. Lady Marmalade has been giving me a hard time. With prodigies who happens to be "efficient" and "consistent", she highlighted those, time and again during staff meetings. At and around the same time in-between meetings, tasks are given to me continuously as I am the "senior" person at work.
Emotionally, I had to deal with:
1. The SMS comments, which to me was like a slap on the face. A wake-up call from someone who usually reserves such comments.
2. Lady Marmalade's strategy- "Pukul anak, sindir menantu" kind.
She praises the new girl till cloud 9. She praises the other one for consistency, etc. Last Thursday's meeting, she announced: "There are 5 recipients for the top 20% performers in our centre, but one is awarded the STAR award, and she is......... ain't me. Never mind that, I was the STAR teacher in 2004. On that meeting, everyone gets a $50 QIM for best lesson plan; best classroom environment; most consistent; best innovation - class website; etc etc; except for, myself and two new girls.
I know about Best Lesson Plan and Best Classroom Env awards, but Most Consistent? Most Effective? Best Innovation? I know nuts.
To rub it in further, she Cc-ed to ME - a copy of her email to our Ops Mgr about the new girl's peformance, and whats her % in salary adjustment after 6-mths working.
What was THAT all about??? I have yet to acknowledge her email. I mean, what... "Noted with thanks"????
I know why she started this personal attack(s) on me. Yes I do.
It must be the PRIVATE confrontation I had with her, for embarrassing me with her remarks in front of a parent. She just slurred out answers, just to please the parent, WITHOUT doing some thinking.
For that one, she was even trying to come out with non-sense rebutts, trying to prove herself as NOT GUILTY. Alhamdulillah , I was strong emotionally, my memory was intact, and I continued to correct her as she tried to escape moving backwards on her butts and hands.
Eventually, the truth prevails - she went against her policy of "Walk with me. Stand up for your friends". She apologized - "Ma'af" she said.
Honestly, I felt good that she finally admit. Its not easy to get Lady Marmalade to APOLOGIZE.
I want to thank my husband for those slap-on-the-face SMSes.
Dear, I thought it was over between us - the give & take part.
After thinking and thinking and crying and thinking and crying....
your words were the cure!! It wasnt easy to switch off from work when I'm home, waiting for you to ask me "Whats wrong?" so that I can cry and tell you my problem.
Then, the plot had a twist. I thought that was your dialogue, rupanya editted. U made my character a helpless damsel. Hrrrffff....
I apologized for being such an ass-wife. I should learn from your forgive-and-forget attitude.
With all the pies on my face earlier this Ramadhan, I have learnt to wipe it off gracefully and take it with a pinch of humour. Thanks. You are so right - Men, they have to be told what to do.
As for Lady Marmalade, I say she was being bitchy. But another friend said, "no. more like anal kind". Ouch.