Emotional

Dear Blog,

After four years dissing you, I came back. It was really nice reading back old posts. Heartwarming.  I needed this and so here I am. Its 4.50am. Just done chatting with dear husband, who has been away in Graz, Austria for close to two months now.
Take heart, dear self. Be brave for what is to come until he comes back in April 2018. Insya Allah. ❤

"Yours is one of the best"

Last week, I confessed to my new
"superior" colleague that I am pathetically s-l-o-w
in writing, editting and publishing the class journal. My point to her was, "sorry. Don't expect early submission from Raudha hence dont give more works"

Sparks burst in my heart when she said, "that is because you are a perfectionist. Do you know that yours is one of the best?"

Now the thing is, I know this didnt come from her. Its from the male and the other female and the "office" female . I LOVE it when people talk about positive things about me; especially behind my back. Love it. All praises to the Creator for the blessings.

With the females and the male :)





-DadhaSpeaks

Saturday Day

Yesterday's Saturday was yet another busy Saturday. I noticed that at times the busy Saturdays were like patterns. So, how was it spent for yesterday's Saturday?
1. At work:
1.1: Green Club spring-cleaning. Something which i am really good at- organising things. Boxed and labeled them. It is now a much better place to stand (and prostrate).
1.2: Tea Session with Marieah's class. Together with Tamhid. We were surrounded by expats and the rich. Ok, that was just an observation. Period. I really dont care much because we are probably the better parents who dont shift our responsibilities to the domestic workers. Im not sure if I should look forward to the birthday invites and playdates, as suggested by Hamish's mummy.
2. I have to skip Candy's housewarming invitation.
3. I have to skip June Rusdon's old-friends gathering at where else, BigFish Bistro.
4. Spent the evening with Sister-In-Law Erni to listen to Imam Abdul Lateef Finch talked about searching for Allah at our down times. I had it recorded using the app in this iphone5. Syukur Allah for this tech-advancement.
5. Spent about a good 10 minutes in tears before sleeping;
that was AFTER the results of the Punggol East bi-election (WP won, by the way), reading a touching chronological journal blog of a mother from the day her daughter met with an accident till the day she passed away (6/1 to 20/1) and the HW time.
I think, as at now, I already know why I cried.
Imam Finch shared his observation in his closing speech. He said that in any events that he has attended (referring to religious events), the vast majority is the females and not the males. There is a problem. Men are not becoming men. They remain as boys.




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Coincidental Colour Themes

Family Colour Theme has recurred in this family in three consecutive days! And they are all purely coincidental.

Yes, it does amaze me because we are not the typical husband-and-wife-matching-tops-plus-kids-wear-same-shadeofgreen.

So, when we started realising that "eh matching!" , there were laughters.

And laughter is good. It equates to love in the family.




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Respondez Sil Vous Plaìt 2013

Tired

I am chronically exhausted. Aside from the doctor's diagnosis of hyperventilation, I do feel the tension in my head, neck, throat and back. Its so tense that I feel veins will go BURST anytime.

I am also learning to manage my pain and panic better. I am taught by my spouse not to panic when I feel breathless nor choking. Easier said than done. So I must learn not to expect anyone to give an assurance rub on my back when that could be a life-saver at that point? Rather, I should try and keep my pain private. It worked the other day. When Attack came after I boarded 960 from the iPad training; and at Terminal 2's McD with Ayah witnessing it.

Im exhausted but my head could not stop thinking, thinking and thinking. Will I ever reach 34?

-BlogPress-

Mummy

I really miss you, Mummy. Things have changed around here. I've been thinking about you alot! Was that you in my dreams lately?

-BlogPress-

Flowers

Wow. After 8 years of marriage, these 3-roses are my FIRST from him. I have thanked the husband. I shall treasure it because the chances of getting them again are odds. Hah.

Women. Im one of them. Hah.

-BlogPress-

Marriage Package

You marry a man, you marry the whole family. Good thing he has nice family. Think of him as a WHOLE family. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me his family as a remedy. -BlogPress-

Backing off... from attacking

It is not too serious to warrant a separation. I reminded myself today, is a brand new day. My plan today, to put into consistent actions what he accused me of not. Whatever that means. Quite reluctant but winners do not quit, right? -BlogPress-

Meet Marieah, our No.3.

More updates when I am "less confined". Right now, its adapting mode.

Mummy passed away peacefully, Oct 30, 2010

In the name of Allah. Most Gracious Most Merciful

On Saturday, at around 10.40pm; 30th October 2010, Mummy, Hjh Salbiyah Binte Hj Abdul Hamid, has moved on. She passed away, and deeply I hope; peacefully.

No doubt it was a matter of time, but Mum parished earlier than expected.

It was her 20th day in High Dependency Ward 57. As her oncologist and counsellors from National Cancer Centre told me that morning, she is, in all sense of word, a determined fighter. Dr John has clearly explained to me that Mum was experiencing the final stage of endometrial mastitis. How long more? I asked. He said, "TWO months and it could be longer". I was pleased to learned from Dr John that Mummy was one strong patient who listened to her doctors. She also thought highly of the healthcare workers - the nurses, who have cared for her. Mum built good rapport with them. For the 4 years she was developing symptoms (since 2006), Mum had been lucky and diligently turned to Allah and family for comfort and cure.

I guess it was time. We already knew that, yes, she was in final stage. Yes, it will be a matter of months or days. We braced ourselves for this moment, since 2006. Even before the diagnosis of cancer took place (Feb 2010). So when Mum was told she has 4 months to live (that was in April), I was confident she could beat that prediction. She did it again. Mum lived for another two good months.

I feel pain everytime I miss her. But when I think it through, I should be thankful to Him for whatever that has been decided. He is All-Knowing. Mum is relieved from all pain and sufferings in this world.

Rest in peace, my beautiful Mummy. You will always be in my prayers. I am blessed to be your one and only daughter, and I hope Allah will grant my doas for you. Insha Allah.

May we be reunited some day.

Review 2010

I have been rushing like mad! My time is no longer MY time. The moment I opened my eyes in the morning, its "DO a, b, c, d...". I dedicated my time to my Creator, his creations i.e: husband, parents, children, colleagues; also work and study etc etc etc. WHY am I complaining? I just need some spinach or steroid jabs to keep me going... Astaghfirullah, forgive me, Ya Allah.

Now that I am back writing, I wish to journal back key events that has happened since January 2010.

1) I have been working in NTU since December 2009. It has been a love-HATE HATE HATE feeling for the place and its "culture". Whatever.

2) I should not complain. My superior has backed me in applying for the MCYS scholarship. I was accepted. Currently I am a scholar in Wheelock's College Bachelor of Science in ECE with focus on Literacy. Classes are conducted in "block lectures". The lecturers flew in from Boston and we will have 1-2 weeks of evening classes, 6pm - 10pm.Tiring but fulfilling.

3) Mummy has been diagnosed with final stage of cancer in April. She has asked her oncologist to tell her her chances of living. She said, "its okay. You can tell me." She deteriorated for awhile. I was devastated to see Mummy who has lived her life vibrantly, has succumbed to this deadly disease and is giving up. At one point, she refused chemotherapy. NEVERTHELESS, I am happy to report that she is doing superbly okay! Mummy and I.... we are fighters. Mummy is brushing aside all these I-am-dying attitudes. Alhamdulillah, she has been positive. She is her usual self, ever-diva, ever-beautiful and ever-funny... Haha. I have made Mum promised that she will be around to welcome her upcoming 9th grandchild.

4)Our family was also hit with another test of patience and vigilance. SIL Ana was unexpectedly warded for more than a month in SGH, with most of the time in ICU. She had pneumonia due to H1N1. What looked like a harmless cough led to complications. She was in and out of critical conditions. At one point of time, we lost hope when Mummy was critical at CGH and Ana at SGH. We shuttled to both when we could. Ayah and Rizal was most affected.

5) Found me pregnant, just before the Phuket vacation. Due December 10th, 2010.

6) It has been a year. We have our own place now; our maiden investment with HDB. Our official residence isBlk 631 Senja Road.

7) Dear has upgraded Mazda 2 to Mazda 3. Self-explanatory. We are EXPANDING.

Ok. 2010 reviewed.Moving on...

Blog, interrupted

The last one spoke about my pregnancy. After that, there were 1001 incidents that happened to me, to beloved families and friends. Happy and sad. Sickness and health. It's time to start writing again. :) Alhamdulillah.


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Third Time!

Maternal instinct. I was late by 4 days. On the fourth day, I was nauseatic as I drove to work. I de-toured to a pharmacy at Lot 1, to get the damn test kit. Upon reaching work, I headed to the toilet.

My reaction?

"oh-ohhhh"

it has been a lovely journey so far. Me and the little one... Will be seeing HER in December, with Allah's Grace. I could not wait. She has to go through a lot of trying and turbulent period with me. Baby, studies shown that with a Student-Mummy like me, you might turn out to be like Maria Montessori or Lilian Katz or Vygotsky. We shall see about that.

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"Meet me at Tan Tock Seng"

Friday, 19 Feb 2010, around 4.15pm: The actual account On the abovementioned date and time, I received a call from Tamhid. He said he had hit a bike. He was injured. First thought, to rush to his side. I was doing my essay at home, after sending Mum for admission at SGH. The girls were at Haig Road. Shock. Followed by mild daze and uncertainties. We agreed to meet at Newton Flyover. Since it was almost Asar, I decided to wait. Just before leaving, my MIL asked me where was I heading to. I calmly told her I was meeting her son. In town." On the next call to Hid, he said, "can you meet me at Tan Tock Seng? The ambulance will take me there". My heart doubled in beats. Nevertheless, I made my maiden solo drive to TTSH.

Strange, how my mind auto-cruise the car to it's destination. Another part of my mind was replaying what happened on April 21st 2009.

On Saturday, we went to Traffic Police to lodge the accident report. Glad we had Ayah around. He assisted us in many ways. On Sunday, we got a call from one Dr Ong from TTSH, who spoke to Hid about the x-ray. Immediately after the call, we got ready and headed to the hospital. We met Dr Ong who showed us the X-Ray.

He said..... (there were just too many technical terms and layman terms to recall) "It could be due to an old injury", "may consider not to ride forever", "refer you to orthopedic..", "how long have you been married? You looked like NEWLY-WEDS". :) awww thanks, Dr Ong. We blushed.

Tamhid is now on the road to recovery. He needs time. I can tell that he has loads of thoughts and he needs to sort things out. His bike, his SECRET and his future. Allah's Love and Guidance are the sources I prayed for my wonderful husband. I do hope his riding friends will be around for him in time like this. Im especially thankful that he has wonderful friends like Abang Ma'il, Safari, Shah and Mus.

How to React When your Husband is Injured

...in a road accident.

19 February 2010- Dear Tamhid called me to say : "Dont be shock. I just got into a road accident". I was at home completing The Essay. Then, my mind went whooosh. Next, I was in the car. After that, I was making my way to Tan Tock Seng Hos. Then, I saw him, and...... I shook and trembled silently. In the end, relieved and happy.

1. Stay calm.

2. Listen carefully to whatever information given, for example, if he will be conveyed in an ambulance, please check which hospital he is heading to I.e: TTSH, SGH or KK.

3. Don't ask silly questions like, "why are they taking you to the hospital?", "You got pulse? Heartbeat?"

4. Think carefully on who ought to be the next person you update i.e: brother, father, brother-in-law or Facebook?

5. Bring along your I.C and purse, other than your kewl phone i.e: iPhone, Omnia, Blackberry, etc.

6. Give him your love and express your care verbally and through your actions. Don't Facebook or Blog temporarily.

Posted using BlogPress from TTSH (surprise review).

Morning Pleasures

I call these pleasures. Sheer and surprising ones!

He filled me up!!!! No. Dearest Tamhid filled the gas late last night so that I can drive up the wall. to work with ease.

Because Im gonna run with Cake tonight, I eat these. What a defeat. I know.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone in Mazda 2.

Play-Doh: my latest hobby

I am into Play-Doh now. Rolling, pressing, pinching, kneading, cutting.... Ahhhh, fingers therapy. Naturally it has Zen me up.

Right now, I have the Barnyard BBQ and the Breakfast Set. Coming up, the pizza set and every Play-Doh must-have: the Ice-Cream Swirl Set!

Kids (and adults alike) have the tendency to mix the dough. So I told Durrah not to. She understood. But adults... Hmmm.... mixed my dough.

Abah in NUH

We kept vigil and awaits for Abah's return to his bed, Bed 23 Ward 41, NUH. He just had a surgery-a minor one to remove a prostate growth.

In this ward alone, I saw three men with half of their skulls gone. I wanna try and snap a pic of this man near to me. I just glanced. Yearp. His skull has sunken on the right side!

I just wanna recall what Mak said when we had food at the cafeteria around 6pm today. She brought up the subject of how Abah was never accepted, or shall I rephrase it, never popular among the family due to his boldness. His stubborness.

"Abah kata ada kantung kencing, tak boleh solat. Bolehkan?!...Sebab kencing dia terkawal dalam beg".

"Lagipun darurat", I added. "Abah lagi mahir dlm ilmu fiqh. Solat dgn pergerakkan mata pun boleh". Mak then added, that people said if Orang Alim nak mati, "takes time". That the main caregiver i.e Wife, Children will be tested.

"Mak, Uncle Mansor sakit 7 hari, kemudian dia meninggal. Pada Dadha, Allahyarham pun Alim juga."

To each is his own.

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